Namibia

It was April Fool's Day when I took the GRE (my scores are somewhere between a joke and a laugh) and April 2nd when Jenny arrived in Joburg and we flew to Windhoek, Namibia. I didn't understand everything that the Air Namibia folks were saying that the check-in counter but "standby" wasn't in Zulu. Ten minutes later they smiled and said (in English): "Thanks for being so patient. Economy is overbooked but we put you two in Business Class. Have a nice flight." And that we did. I have never flown first class and probably never will again, but it was quite swanky.

We spent less than 24 hours in Windhoek before taking our rental car (whom we named Lance, the best name we could come up with for a white frat-boy way out of place on our safari-ish trip) south to Sessriem and Soussesvlei. The dry, arid landscape turned from sparse vegetation to desert dunes as we traveled along sandy roads. We arrived and set up camp under an acacia tree and bought beers just in time to watch a spectacular sunset and chat with a group of locals who had just gotten off work at a nearby lodge.

The next morning we were up before dawn to pack up our tent (a very tiny two-man) and drive into the national park. There was nothing to see as we drove through the pre-dawn hours and parked 45 km later at an arbitrary sand dune named "dune 45". Up we climbed as the light slowly faded in. And we were greeted with one of the most breathtaking sights -- blood-red dunes all around that turned purple when the sun broke the horizon. Stunning. We drove a little farther on and stopped to hike out to a "vlei" (salt pan that is sporadically filled with water when it actually rains) before driving out and heading north to Swakopmund, a seaside city in the middle of - you guessed it - a desert.

I couldn't get over it. Sand dunes and nothingness and then this huge, resort-style city like you would see in Florida or the Carolina's. Super touristy and wealthy but still worth seeing. We took two nights there, camping at a backpackers hostel, and on the second day Jenny went sand boarding on the dunes. I played around taking pictures and trying not to burn my feet in the incredibly hot sand - the sand temps were cooler up high where there was a breeze, but down below they measured it at 70 degrees C. That's 158 degrees F. I was sure my cheap flip flops were melting.

Then the real fun began. Our plan was to drive north to Opuwo and stay with two PCV's for a few nights. There were several options for routes and, being adventurous and possibly a bit ambitious, we chose 'the road less traveled.' Oh man...

This included driving the Skeleton Coast. So named because of the shipwrecks along that section of coastline that doomed any surviving sailors. Before we entered the park we crossed a set of gates (with skull and crossbones) where the ranger told us only 4x4 vehicles could make it. Then he changed his mind and said we'd just have to gun the accelerator through a dry riverbed. Lance made it, though the undercarriage was worse for the wear. We would continue driving the Toyota corolla as if it was four wheel drive for the remainder of the trip.

The Skeleton Coast: No plants, no animals, no water for hundreds of kilometers. And Jenny and I both fell completely silent for more than an hour as I drove. The feeling of the place was completely desolate and depressing. I have never in my life felt as though I was trespassing on a place but this section of coastline is a place no person is meant to visit. It simply felt wrong in the pit of my stomach. And after we came out of it heading east and began to see a few shrubs and eventually ostriches Jenny and I both started to speak again and had the same feeling of having tempted fate. We knew that somehow we'd gone somewhere we shouldn't have and it would catch up with us eventually.

We had no clue how comically this would come about. We kept heading north-ish. And then we came across a river that wasn't dry. Jenny got out and checked the water depth, shrugged and we went for it. Once across we had a look at our map and realized that we'd just crossed the smallest of the upcoming rivers (no bridges to be found). As we debated continuing on or going back 15 km to take a longer, paved route, one of the PCV's we were to stay with that night texted me to ask about our route. Then again to say "Do you have a 4x4?" We laughed at the timing of this and drove back across the river a second time (successfuly), backtracked, and made it to a small town to refuel before heading to Opuwo at sunset. The people at the fueling station warned us about animals in the road at night and we thanked them as we drove on, thinking if we can handle MI driving at night with deer everywhere that Namibia couldn't be much worse.

WRONG. There's no fences in the north. And no shepherds. But cattle everywhere. And they seem to like the tar road in the evenings. They don't even run when cars approach. You can tell where this is headed...

Lance took that cow out. Actually, the cow was fine and ran off and Lance was even driveable... but he looked awful. We made it to Opuwo late because I drove aproximately 60km/hr to avoid hitting another cow. Ed's first words when he saw us pull in were: "Holy Sh#t." (Not "Holy Cow" ??) Anyway, to make a long, funny story short, we convinced the rental company that the car was in fact driveable and that we should be allowed to keep the car for a few days longer before returning it early. And after a police report to document the event (a story in itself) we were able to enjoy the cultural diversity of Opuwo town and wander the streets laughing. A mixing pot of 4 or 5 tribes including the famous Himba, I was so thrilled for the diversity and culture.

From there we headed to Etosha National Park. Every park worker we encountered stopped us to ask what we'd hit with our car. A kudu? A rhino? No, not one of the park animals. "It was a cow" became a catch phrase for the remainder of the trip.

Etosha was fantastic. So many animals - we even spotted lions and then rhinos at the watering hole at night. Jenny and I were in heaven. But after two days of being in a park where you're not allowed out of your car except in designated camping areas we were going stir-crazy. So we left the park and, having decided to cancel our trip to Victoria Falls after the cow encounter, we headed to Waterberg Plateau Park for a few days to hike and camp and relax.

And then to Windhoek to drop of the car. Again, a story in itself because I had to fill out another accident report than included drawing the scene of the accident. People have since pointed out that the cow looks like a stick figure ant... you laugh or you cry.

Our vacay ended with three nights in Windhoek for which we mostly sat around, ate, and drank. It's not a culturally diverse and there's not much to do except, well, eat, drink and sit around. Still, we managed to make it entertaining and very relaxing and sampled game meet at a local restaurant one night. The same restaurant also had Guiness on the menu.

THE END.